by Alan McCoyTumblr (3.0; @120pagemonster)http://120pagemonster.com/<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzxflb9cJH1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>ZZZZZZZZZZero 7.</p> <p>Works every time.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18223855315http://120pagemonster.com/post/18223855315Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:15:00 -0500zero 7sweet dreams little dude<h3 id="at_first_they_were_like8230">At first, they were like…</h3> <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VPqZLgJrvN8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPqZLgJrvN8"><strong>REM - “1,000,000” (1982)</strong></a></p> <h3 id="8230and_then_they_were_all">…and then they were all</h3> <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kj1gh4e-OCU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kj1gh4e-OCU"><strong>REM - “1,000,000” (2007)</strong></a></p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18206808274http://120pagemonster.com/post/18206808274Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:38:00 -0500Mikey had hairPete's still a badassREM<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzceeoltyh1r7115zo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://anythingunderpluto.tumblr.com/post/17557310537/1st-floor-2nd-floor-enterprise" class="tumblr_blog">anythingunderpluto</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>1st floor, 2nd floor, Enterprise</p></blockquote>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18141191683http://120pagemonster.com/post/18141191683Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:40:00 -0500star trekmagnificent nerds<iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/y9vnIghFrUU?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9vnIghFrUU">The dB’s - Big Brown Eyes (Live)</a></p> <p>This song makes me feel funny.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18080243720http://120pagemonster.com/post/18080243720Wed, 22 Feb 2012 13:53:00 -0500NC in the 80s<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzt16yJAIv1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Lunch. Like you do.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18076004688http://120pagemonster.com/post/18076004688Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:13:00 -0500the food pyramidrum is on itand it wears a tiny hat<p>I haven’t actually seen an episode of <em>Downtown Abby</em>, but I hear it’s one of the better pornos made lately.</p> <p>I <em>am</em> spelling that correctly, right?</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/18046462490http://120pagemonster.com/post/18046462490Tue, 21 Feb 2012 21:16:40 -0500Coworker: National Margarita Day is this Wednesday. I'm thinking we should celebrate this momentous holiday…<br /> Me: What about National Fifth of Whiskey In My Desk Drawer Day? Because EVERY day's a celebration.<br /> Coworker: I’ll be there in 5. These phones can answer themselves.http://120pagemonster.com/post/17779599209http://120pagemonster.com/post/17779599209Fri, 17 Feb 2012 15:33:21 -0500<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzgptj0Tb21qz8t7bo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://funsizebytes.com/post/17687694278/dramatic-re-creation-of-an-actual-scene-at-the">tj</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><em>Dramatic re-creation of an actual scene at the grocery store earlier today</em></p> <p>Me: “WTF is ‘Muscle Milk’?”</p> <p>Me: “Oooh, chocolate…”</p> <p>Me: “Wait, why isn’t this refrigerated?”</p> <p>Me: <em>reads label</em></p> <p>Me: “Muscle Milk… contains… no… milk.”</p> <p>Me: “Call me old-fashioned—”</p> <p>ME: <em>(interrupting)</em> “You’re old fashioned!”</p> <p>Me: “Yeah, funny…call me old-fashioned, but it seems to me that you shouldn’t be able to call something <em>milk</em> if it hasn’t got any milk in it.”</p> <p>ME: “Like Milkduds™?”</p> <p>Me: “They aren’t serving Milkduds™ in a bottle the shape of a milk bottle! What, so now we can just call things whatever we want?”</p> <p>ME: “I guess…”</p> <p>Me: “Ok… well, good news, ladies… I’m now offering free samples of <strong>Protein Milk™</strong> to anyone who asks.”</p> <p>ME: “No one is going to ask…”</p> <p>Me: “Probably not…”</p> <p>ME: “Good thing too, because you’d have to include a disclaimer somewhere.”</p> <p>Me: “Very true! Damn! I wish I still had foreskin! That would have been the perfect place for a disclaimer tattoo.”</p> <p>ME: “That <em>is</em> unfortunate…”</p> <p>Me: “<em>Contains No Milk!</em>”</p> <p>ME: “HA! Don’t forget <em>Shake Well Before Using</em>”</p> <p>Me: “Gently! Heh… Oh, and <em>Do Not Point At Eyes</em>”</p> <p>ME: “Ew!”</p> <p>Me: “What? That’s what it says on champagne bottles!”</p> <p>ME: “<em>Contains No Champagne</em>”</p> <p>Me: “Well…except on New Year’s Eve…”</p> <p>ME: “Well, <em>obviously</em>… By the way, the person ahead of you in line has finished checking out, and you’re still standing here looking at this bottle of Not Milk and talking to yourself…”</p> <p>Me: “Ooops, shit… not out-loud, though, right?”</p> <p>ME: “FuckshouldIknow?”</p> <p>Me (to little old lady behind me with 3 items): “Oh, you can go ahead of me”</p> <p>Lil Ol Lady: “Oh, thank you!”</p> <p>Me to LOL: “You’re welcome…”</p> <p>ME:”Good save…”</p> <p>Me: “Yup…”</p> <p><em>pulls out iPhone</em></p> <p><em>takes picture of Not Milk</em></p> </blockquote>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17688013638http://120pagemonster.com/post/17688013638Wed, 15 Feb 2012 20:43:41 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzb4gpF9PP1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“Oh, okay. This shit just got real” I said to my lady after she presented me with some fries at a corner table in McDonald’s.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17524303128http://120pagemonster.com/post/17524303128Sun, 12 Feb 2012 20:07:00 -0500fuck you fries<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz6sd8U8Ra1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Friday, bitches.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17375938016http://120pagemonster.com/post/17375938016Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:55:00 -0500textmatenerdlove<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyo6auLTYQ1qakqfvo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Marge needs a moment…</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17213640975http://120pagemonster.com/post/17213640975Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:50:47 -0500stock photoschild labor<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz13u6ziIo1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>FACT:</strong> Cake Pops are candy-coated devil’s flesh.</p> <p>That or they’re made from babies.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17210807969http://120pagemonster.com/post/17210807969Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:18:00 -0500Cake Popschewy chocolatey lardnasty breakfast<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyzijvr81X1qi7sr9o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://sebasinho.tumblr.com/post/17161601719/social-media-explained" class="tumblr_blog">sebasinho</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Social Media Explained! </p></blockquote> <p>EDIT: Pinterest “Here’s a WEDDING donut recipe FOR LADIES.”</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17167142430http://120pagemonster.com/post/17167142430Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:45:38 -0500<p>I have to say the best part of the game I didn’t watch was drinking the cake batter.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17134297673http://120pagemonster.com/post/17134297673Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:07:16 -0500Couldn't care lessFootball: It's Dead To Me™<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xN1WN0YMWZU?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>Posted annually.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17134175438http://120pagemonster.com/post/17134175438Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:04:59 -0500Delusional Collective ObsessionFootball fansWe<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyy5t2gMHQ1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><h2><a href="http://bit.ly/zzLlGl">Two Doctors</a></h2> <p>Doctor Who scarf on the needles.</p> <p>Dr. Strangelove on the screen.</p> <p>Happy Superbowl Sunday, my magnificent nerds.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/17127350497http://120pagemonster.com/post/17127350497Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:07:00 -0500Doctor WhoDr. StrangeloveKubrickSuperbowlNerdtastic<iframe width="400" height="299" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/p96LiIQGBAg?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p96LiIQGBAg">“The Twitch”</a></p> <p>Whenever CNN does the story about the NY school girls developing a mysterious twitching syndrome, all I think about is this.</p> <p>Yep. I am so going to hell.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/16933485777http://120pagemonster.com/post/16933485777Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:42:00 -0500CNNconversion syndrometicstwitch<p>A phrase used by doctors during a prostate exam.</p> <p><em><strong>Translation:</strong> “You will literally see my finger peep out of your pee hole.”</em></p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/16790583838http://120pagemonster.com/post/16790583838Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:56:00 -0500prostate examimpossible anatomy<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyjp7aO5cu1r27qg8o1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://justmako.tumblr.com/post/16681936693/someone-please-get-this-book-for-me">justmako</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Someone please get this book for me.</p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah. My bitches. They call me money.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/16731118185http://120pagemonster.com/post/16731118185Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:52:58 -0500<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyhpg1w7Gd1qz8vngo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Only 13 feet left to go…Because, while fezzes and bowties are cool, a 14-foot stripey scarf is pretty much the tits.</p> <p>God, I’m a hopeless nerd.</p>http://120pagemonster.com/post/16616746248http://120pagemonster.com/post/16616746248Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:52:00 -0500knittingdoctor whoscarfnerd